Widowhood: The Second Time

 

My beloved husband, Bill went home to Jesus on January 14, 2023. 

He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and 12 weeks later, he was gone. It was so FAST! My home church started a 13-week Griefshare program two weeks after Bill was gone. I went and just felt too much pain to even begin to talk about Bill.

 However, I found myself thinking about my first widowhood after my soulmate Jack went home to Jesus after a lifelong battle against inherited emphysema.

 Jack and I knew our time together was limited. 

As his illness progressed, I became his caregiver as well as his wife. We learned to live one day at a time. We learned to live each day like it was our last because it could be. That last summer, I warned my girls that Jack's time with us was short. Neither one wanted to face that. Even though Jack was their stepdad, they loved him with all their heart. Jack succumbed to his illness just two months short of our 12th anniversary. 

After his death, I followed through on my long-term goal of buying another Harley-Davidson motorcycle and resumed riding. I bought a Sportster, acquired a motorcycle endorsement, and took off riding the highways of Missouri, Illinois, and Kentucky. I didn't realize I was running away from home on a Harley until much later. My girls and I had a rocky path ahead of us. I was putting on a brave face for them and my oldest daughter asked me why I wasn't crying. I told her I was, but not when she and her sister were home.  A couple of days later, I did cry when they were home and scared them because I wailed my heart out. Yep, my emotions were swinging like a pendulum and I didn't know if I was going crazy or not. 

.At year two of my widowhood, an acquaintance told me, "It's been two years. Shouldn't you be about over this by now?" I felt like I had been slapped! Sharing my vulnerability had obviously been a mistake. I retreated behind a mental wall and decided to not let anyone see my grief again. AND I didn't reveal my pain again! 

Fast forward to sixteen years later. 

Here I was, sitting in a room of men and women who were each walking through their own grief journeys. I was numb. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Bill was in heaven with my heart and I was a widow a second time. As I listened, I began to realize I'd not completely dealt with my grief after Jack went home to Jesus. At that time, I didn't know anything about grief support, making memory bears out of clothing, or anything like that. I was ignorant about that part of grief.  To deal with my current pain, I had and was burying myself in my relationship with the Lord. That's always a good thing.

GriefShare has been the best thing I ever did for myself.

 One night the video was sharing what to NOT say to someone grieving the loss of a loved one. Guess what? One of the things you shouldn't say is, "Shouldn't you be about over this now?" Oh, man! I could SO identify with that statement! I felt validated. More importantly, I was learning how to walk through my grief in healthy ways. I wasn't locking the grief away and acting as if I was fine.  I was able to open up and talk about my feelings concerning the loss of my first and second beloved husbands, Jack and Bill. Two men who were so different! The one thing they had in common was me. They both loved me and wanted me to be happy.

I am now 22 months out from Bill's Homegoing.

I've been dreading the holidays, but preparing for them at the same time. Last Saturday, I participated in the one-day GriefShare class, How to Survive the Holidays. I attended last year,  however a year of travel on my grief journey has changed my perspective.  Also, this is my first Christmas without my sister Nan. I know that avoiding the holidays is not the answer for me. Facing my pain by being with my family is necessary for me to heal. I've also done a  few things that are helping me to look forward to the holidays.

On Thanksgiving, I am making chocolate chip pecan bars that Bill would have loved! I'm sharing this at the Friendsgiving with my oldest daughter's family and friends. I'm celebrating with other family members by bringing my green bean casserole, rolls, and an apple pie. That's my normal contribution and both of my beloved husbands loved my green bean casserole, rolls, and any pie I made. 

 I couldn't put up my big tree last year, but I also can't give it up. Therefore, I bought 12 motorcycle gnome ornaments that will go with the 6 Harley-Davidson ornaments I bought last year and put away. My tree will be beautiful and different from the way I decorated it with Bill. I'm actually decorating the tree like the garage tree he and I had talked about, but never got around to putting up in the garage. 

Last year and this year, I spent Bill's Christmas present money on two things. First, I donated part to the local motorcycle toy ride we participated in. Secondly, I sponsored a Wreaths Across America wreath in honor of Bill. Everything that I've talked about, I learned in GriefShare. These are simple ways to honor Bill. These two acts have helped me to be just a little bit happier. My heart hurts just a tiny bit less. I know Bill would approve. 

Bombarded by God's Love

I read this at a recovery meeting last night:

 "The most common symptoms of emotional insecurity are worry, anger, self-pity, and depression...If  I am unable to change the present state of affairs, am I willing to take the measures necessary to shape my life to conditions as they are?"

Yep, I have a new normal.

 I am a widow. 

I am willing to shape my life to conditions as they are as I follow God's lead. 

I feel as if I've been spiritually bombarded with God's love for the last 24 hours.

 I've heard and read so many pertinent words that apply to where I am today.

• I am a child of God.

• I am a jewel that God treasures. 

• I can't run out in front of God like a dog on a leash. I need to follow Him in obedience.  

Resources

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Page 52

Malachi 3:17

“They shall be Mine,” says the Lord of hosts, “On the day that I make them My jewels. And I will spare them As a man spares his own son who serves him.” 

Devotional by Rebecka Beene on Facebook

The Big "C" - Cancer

My mom is 74 and her last mammogram revealed a small lump that turned out to be cancer. 

Mom and I prayed together for healing before the biopsy came back. I was surprised that the lump turned out to be cancer. Surprised because I have felt nothing but peace about my momma and this situation. However, that is what the biopsy revealed and my good God will take care of my mom. I KNOW he will! My momma loves the Lord with all her heart. 

Yesterday, mom had a lumpectomy and two lymph nodes were removed. 

The lumpectomy surgery went smoothly and quickly. Preliminary results for the lymph nodes were negative for cancer. Now we are waiting  for the results of the second lymph node test while mom heals at home. The surgeon told us that there was a 93%-94% chance that the results will be negative. 

Numbers don't mean much to me. 

God is in charge of this and I know he is holding my mom in his hands. I am believing that it will be negative too. I am NOT going to let numbers impress me. Numbers don't mean anything to God. 

How many times have his people won against incredible odds? 

A shepherd boy slew a giant warrior. A pillar of cloud led God's people through the parted waters to escape Egypt. The walls of Jericho fell down after 7 days because God's people followed his directions. A small number of warriors defeated a huge army. When God is involved, numbers don

't mean anything!.

My mom is an amazingly strong woman who never fails to surprise me. 

After the release papers were all done, mom was surprised that I wanted to help her dress. However, I was able to hold her clothing for her while she quickly dressed. 

Before going home, Dad drove to the local pharmacy to fill the prescription for mom's pain medicine. Mom opened the pharmacy bag, looked at the prescription bottle, and read the instructions carefully. Then she says,

"Oh my goodness! 325 milligram pills. That's too strong. I don't know why they gave me more than 30 either. I won't need that many and I am going to have to cut them in half."  

My mom is not in any danger of becoming dependent on pain killers. lol...lol 

After arriving at home, mom laid down for a short while. Then, she was up cooking and eating an egg for lunch. In fact, the only thing I actually did was to fix a printing issue they had with their computer and printer before leaving for home. 

My heart continues to be full of joy.

My mom is at home with dad, following her normal routine while following the doctor's aftercare instructions. I am grateful to still have my mom. She is a blessing in my life. 

Exodus 15:2

"The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.

Matthew 6:34

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Healing Prayer

A long time friend has had a terrible time healing from a surgery on her finger.
Bill and I were enjoying a visit with her and her husband when the Holy Spirit told me to pray with her about the finger. As I sat waiting for a break in the conversation to ask about prayer, I heard Bill say, "Would you mind if we prayed with you about your finger before we go?"

Yep, the Holy Spirit had moved him too.
Anyway, the four of us stood up, joined hands, and Bill prayed for her healing. He told her finger that it was healed because by Jesus' stripes we were healed. Yes, we were healed because Jesus bore our sins in his own body. Then, he thanks Jesus for giving us what we asked.

1 Peter 2:4
Who his own self bore our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live to righteousness: by whose stripes you were healed.

Bill and I also know Jesus gives us what we ask when we have faith and believe with all our heart that this is so. We know this because of the following verses of the Bible:

Matthew 17:20
If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you. 

Matthew 21:21-22
Jesus answered and said to them, Truly I say to you, If you have faith, and doubt not, you shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if you shall say to this mountain, Be you removed, and be you cast into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.

Mark 11:22-24
And Jesus answering said to them, Have faith in God. For truly I say to you, That whoever shall say to this mountain, Be you removed, and be you cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he said shall come to pass; he shall have whatever he said. Therefore I say to you, What things soever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them.

Jesus Said
Jesus told his disciples more than once that with faith, you can tell a mountain to be removed, and it shall be done. When you pray, you have to believe that you receive what you ask for and you shall have what you ask for.

Our friend's mountain was her infected finger that wouldn't heal properly for weeks. 
Bill spoke to that mountain, the infected finger, in the name of Jesus and fully believing that it was healed. I also prayed and told that infection to leave her finger.

Today, Bill received a phone call from our friend's husband.
He was thrilled to tell Bill that the doctor said the finger was MUCH better. Bill and I thanked Jesus for the healing that we knew would be given because we asked in faith and belief. 

Attitude is Everything in Christ

Chopped!

This morning as I watched "Chopped," the attitude of each chopped competitor caught my attention. 
The losing chef of the appetizer round said, "I failed, but I did learn a few things."
In contrast, the chopped chef of the entree round said,"Being on "Chopped" has been the greatest experience of my life. I have learned so much."
What a difference in attitude!
Both contestants had identical experiences; they competed on a cooking show and each was chopped after competing in a round of cooking the basket ingredients. The first chef gave a lukewarm acknowledgement of having learned something after saying, " I failed." The second chef only saw an amazing experience and an opportunity to learn.
A reminder of my lukewarm attitude
The difference with which each participant accepted not winning struck me as being a significant reminder of  my old self and my new self in my relationship with Jesus Christ. What a perfect illustration for having a lukewarm attitude for Jesus versus having a completely positive attitude for living life with Jesus to its fullest.

Revelation 3:15-16 
I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot: I would you were cold or hot. So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.

I grew up knowing about Jesus. 
As a small child, I loved Jesus with all my heart. As I grew into puberty, my relationship with Jesus became an emotional and religious one. After leaving home, I relied on people, alcohol, and drugs to fulfill my needs. Living this way in the world, cooled my love for Jesus because I didn't have an indwelling Holy Spirit. What I had was a head full of bible knowledge and an empty place where the Holy Spirit should be. 

Matthew 24:12
And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. 
Revelation 2:4

Nevertheless I have somewhat against you, because you have left your first love. 

A Prodigal Daughter Returns

Although I returned to reading my bible and attending church at age 30, my relationship with Jesus didn't extend into all areas of my life. I continued to rely on alcohol and living an ungodly life on Monday to Saturday.  In short, I had not completely submitted to God, or forgiven myself for making bad choices during my twenties. 
Filled with the Holy Spirit
At age 35, after two years of sobriety, I did change my life, leave alcohol behind,and asked Jesus to come into my life as my Lord and my Savior. At my baptism, I heard an internal snap and was filled with immense happiness. I no longer had an empty place where the Holy Spirit should be. 

Romans 6:6
Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that from now on we should not serve sin.
Romans 12:9

Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; hold to that which is good

An Answer to Prayer
During my late husband's illness, I learned to quickly turn to the Lord in prayer. Prayer sustained me through his 12 year battle with illness. The Lord gave me a strength that was well beyond my own abilities as I dealt with children, a sick husband, college classes, and working full-time. Acquaintances would remark that they didn't know how I managed to make it through these tough issues. My answer was always the same, "It is Jesus and not me." During the last six months of his illness, we dealt with a rebellious teenager. Copious amounts of prayer and the Holy Spirit saw me through this difficult time. My love for Jesus had grown tremendously, but I still didn't realize just how much God and Jesus love me. However, I was living a life that reflected my love of Jesus. 

Philippians 1:9
And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment

Do you know how much God loves you?
At that time, I loved the Lord, but I still didn't understand how much He loved me, or how much deeper that relationship could be if I would completely submit myself to His Lordship and forgive myself for the past that I could not change. 

Philemon 1:6
That the communication of your faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.

Widowhood
After my husband's death, I went through a period of readjustment, bereavement, and living in the world. However, my Heavenly Father wasn't going to let go of me.  He put several bold, Christian women into my life to disciple me so that I could learn about the true depths of his love. 
A Revelation of Love
Two years later, after untold hours of bible study, prayer, and fellowship with these women, I finally had a revelation about how much Jesus loves me, I belong to Jesus Christ and not to myself. He took my sin upon himself and the minute I asked him to come into my life, I was forgiven. Finally, I learned to live a joyous life with Jesus to its fullest extent. Today, Jesus is the greatest experience of my life and He is all and in all areas of my life. 

Colossians 3:10-11
And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.

Taking a Time Out at Jesus' Feet

Congestive heart failure. That is the diagnosis an extended family member received. The good part of this news is that the diagnosis isn't terminal and my family member knows Jesus.

However, I really need to take a spiritual time out with Jesus. This bit of song is running through my mind:

Oh, how I love Jesus,

Oh, how I love Jesus,

Oh how I love Jesus,

           because He first loved me.

Yes, Jesus loves me and oh how I love him!

Appeal

Lord Jesus, just let me feel the peace and serenity that flows from you to me through the Holy Spirit as I spend some time with you this morning, just sitting at your feet. 

Prayer

Lord, I am asking you to extend your hand to heal my family member and I am asking this in your mighty name, Jesus. Amen

Acts 4:29-30 NASB

 29“And now, Lord, take note of their threats, and grant that Your bond-servants may speak Your word with all confidence, 30 while You extend Your hand to heal, and signs and wonders take place through the name of Your holy servant Jesus.” 

Verse of the Week - Jeremiah 17:14 AKJV - April 18, 2016

"Whatever wounds or diseases we find to be in our hearts and consciences, let us apply to the Lord to heal us, to save us, that our souls may praise his name. His hands can bind up the troubled conscience, and heal the broken heart; he can cure the worst diseases of our nature."                                                                       Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary

"Heal me, help me, make me whole."

Occasionally, this phrase runs through my mind like a mantra. I started this action around the same time as my call into motorcycle ministry in 2009. My call made me terribly aware of how much I needed to be healed and made whole. 

Today, I know that my Savior is continuing to heal and perfect me as I continue to submit my life to him as his servant. 

Believing and Receiving

Fourth Month Ultrasound
 Ashley, my daughter, went to her routine ultrasound appointment. This was her first baby and she was excited to find out if the baby was a boy, or a girl. 

After arriving for her appointment, the technician at the imaging lab showed her into the changing room and she undressed. 5 minutes into the ultrasound, the technician told her she had to step out and get the doctor. 

Ash Knew Something Wasn't Right
In absolute silence, the doctor looked at the images, as the equally silent tech moved the instrument across Ash's lower abdomen. Ten minutes later, Ashley was dressed and escorted to a private room in which her ob-gyn doctor was sitting. 

Your Baby Has Spina Bifida
Quietly, Ash was told that the ultrasound had shown the typical complications that occur in a baby with spina bifida -  clubbed feet, excess fluid in the brain, open spine in the lower back. Stunned at the news, she almost missed the doctor telling her she was having a boy. Ash walked out of the hospital, across the parking lot to her car, sat down in her car, and called me. 

During Later Appointments
Doctors told us the worst case scenario- mental retardation, no bowel or bladder control, seizures, very little fine motor skills, and no feeling from the waist down. If he walked, it wouldn't be until he was four. 

Bill and I refused to accept the diagnosis and told Ashley that the baby was going to be fine. We could tell she wanted to believe us, but the doctors kept bombarding her with their expert, medical opinions.  

Matthew 18:19-20 AKJVAgain I say to you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the middle of them.

My husband and I are prayer warriors who believe God's promises. 
We met the news with prayer. Our church family, Christian Motorcyclists Association family, and extended circle of acquaintances kept our daughter, our grandson, and the medical staff who cared for Ashton, on their prayer lists.

Matthew 21:21-22 

And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it will happen."And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."

Yes, there have been surgeries, braces, and therapy.
BUT every nurse and doctor are amazed at how swiftly Ashton heals. In spite of brain surgery to install a VP shunt and reconstructive surgery to his lower back, Ashton was out of the neonatal intensive care unit in five days. At fourteen days old, he was released from the hospital to go home with his mom. 

God gave us a miracle. Bill and I praise Jesus at every opportunity for the healing that he granted Ashton.

Ashton's healing continues to appear. 
At birth, Ashton had no reaction to stroking, poking, or prodding from his feet to his hips. Now, he has feeling from his hips to right above the knees. At two years old, his little feet are straight and the night braces are no longer necessary. This has happened a full year before it was supposed to happen.

Again, God gave us a miracle. Thank-you Jesus for the speed at which our grandson continues to heal. 

Today, our grandson is an active toddler who speaks in 3-4 word sentences, stands unaided, uses a tiny walker to walk, and is starting to use a toilet like a big boy. 

Bill and I have no doubt that Ashton will continue to heal because we believed we would receive what we asked for - a healing. Ashton is healed. Every day, every month, we are giving praise and glory to God for the proof that he has healed Ashton.

And whatever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. 

1 John 3:22 AKJV

Meth the Destroyer

Our local TV news featured the mug shots of four young people, two women and two men,  from my hometown who have been arrested on meth charges.  Personally, I have known three of the young people as school children when I worked for the school district. My heart is so sad. Methamphetamine abuse is a pestilence in central Missouri.



My first awareness of how rampant meth production is began a few years ago.
I was riding my motorcycle down a rural county road. As the road dipped down into a small valley, an acrid aroma hit my nose. I had never in all my life smelled such an awful stench. The only smell that even halfway describes what I smelt that day is to take a completely urine soaked cat box and multiply that odor until it will fill an entire valley.

I am a country girl. My grandparents all owned large farms and raised a variety of animals.  I am  completely familiar with the aromas of country living. That smell was nothing like anything I had ever smelt before.Now I know, that in all probability, I had come across a meth lab cooking up their destructive product. Several weeks later there was a meth lab found in that area by a local law enforcement task force.

Meth hooks some people the first time they try it. It fills up all of their insecurities and makes them feel like they are super alive.The chemicals in meth create a euphoria that is akin to the beautiful songs the mythical Greek sirens sang to lure passing sailors to their death. Stopping is a difficult struggle.

Because I work with children, I see the impact of meth on them. 
My prayers include a plethora of children, whom I have known, or know personally, whose lives have been broken apart because of the effects of meth abuse. Toddlers found in homes with meth pipes and crystal meth within their reach. Kindergarten children whose parents, grandparents, or siblings became burglars to get money for meth. Fourth and fifth grade students whose parents were arrested and sent to prison for manufacturing meth. High school students who were stopped by a law enforcement task force for approaching a known meth dealer's house that they were watching, and the list goes on...and on...and on.

In my imagination, I see the angels in heaven weeping every time a child of God turns to drugs like meth. Jesus himself sits weeping on his throne over the destruction and chaos that is in the lives of his innocent, little children. How Jesus feels about babies and children is made clear in the following verses from Luke 16. 

15 People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

Jesus also said in Luke 16:

26 “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

I am praying for the Pestilence of Meth to be removed from the lives of children everywhere. Pray this prayer with me:

Father God, Jesus,  please remove the pestilence of meth from the lives of innocent babies and children. Heal the babies born to addicted mothers. Soften the hearts of their parents so that they will be receptive to hearing about a different way to feel super alive. Let them hear about Jesus and let them desire to be born again and feel super alive in Christ and filled with the Holy Spirit. Father, I am weeping before you because of the meth born destruction that I see in the lives of children all around me. 

Open the eyes, ears, and hearts of your faithful ones to reach out to families and bring the Good News of Jesus into their live. I know the workers are few, but the harvest is bountiful and needs to be brought in. Instill the need for community outreach in the spirit-led, leaders in your worldwide church.

I ask these things through the mighty name of Jesus Christ, who obediently died on a cross to save your children in all generations. 

Amen.   

Verse of the Week - John 15:13 - September 28, 2015

Twenty-two states have declared September 27th to be First Responder Appreciation Day. I want to thank all of the men and women in law enforcement, fire fighting, and EMT/EMS for all that you day every day on the job. 

John 15:13 is an appropriate verse for all the first responders who have lost their lives in the line of duty. Say thank-you to a first responder today. I would like to challenge you to pray for first responders daily for a week. Keep them blanketed in love for all that they day. 

Psalm of the Week - 82:3-4 - September 28, 2015

Twenty-two states have declared September 27th to be First Responder Appreciation Day. I want to thank all of the men and women in law enforcement, fire fighting, and EMT/EMS for all that you day every day on the job. 

My daughter Ashley was on a small, over-powered motorcycle on a private gravel road by the Gasconade River in Osage County. She hit an SUV . Ashley was life-flighted from D Hwy. in Osage County, MO to St. John's Mercy in St. Louis, MO. 

Thank-you to all of the EMT's, Life Flight crew,  and law enforcement officers who were on the scene that day. You saved my daughter's life and now she is the mom of a two and a half year old with another baby on the way. 

My daughter Ashley is alive today because of the dedicated work of first responders. Thank-you!!!

Balance: "Life is a See-Saw" a Half-Day Women's Conference

Recently, I attended a half-day women's conference. The topic was balance in your family, career, marriage, church, finances, friendships, trust, and faith. The Missouri Baptist Women's Ministry speaker, Valerie Howe, shared a model that she uses to help her stay in balance. I took notes on the information that she shared about her model and am sharing it with you.

1. Be aware of how you feel
2. Accept responsibility for how you feel
3. Allow God into your heart through scripture and prayer
4. Act to keep your heart taken care of.

My personal favorites from the conference are:

• Jesus cared for his heart in solitude and allowed God into his heart through prayer and scripture.  Valerie's model is not new, she pointed out that it is following Jesus' model. 
• "Secrets always manifest."  a Beth Moore bible study quote that applies to accepting responsibility for how you feel. Quit hiding from how you really feel and accept it.  
• "God, will you hone my words?" a Kathy C. Miller quote that Valerie used made an impact on me. I am familiar with honing, or sharpening a blade. However, hone also means to refine, or perfect over time. An "ah ha!" moment happened to me. Normally, I just ask God to keep my mouth shut. Are you with me? Now, I can ask the Lord to refine, or perfect my words. Wow. I am sitting here filled with happiness that the Lord is still teaching me his ways. 
• Repentance is a process.
• Interruptions can be an appointment from the Lord. Jesus was interrupted in his teaching. (Luke 5:17-20)

Conference Scriptures

• Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2 NIV was the conference scripture.
• John 4 NIV - Jesus Talks With a Samaritan Woman  Click Here for the scripture.
• Luke 8:43-48 NIV Jesus heals a woman with a bleeding illness   Click Here for the scripture 
• Luke 5:17-20 NIV  Jesus' teaching is interrupted  Click Here for the scripture

Stop, Drop and Pray on August 16, 2014

I cannot wait to sit at Jesus' feet tomorrow morning and pray. Snuggle time with the Savior of Us All. I do not know about you, but I need some comforting, healing, and quiet time to pray for this world we live in.

Praying for my persecuted brothers and sisters around the world. Bill and I have been praying daily for the persecuted in Iraq and the persecuters.

So sad to see massive rioting in my home state. Lord please pour your calming and healing presence over Ferguson, MO.

I know, I am starting early, but feel so much upheaval in and around me that I keep reaching out in prayer.

Suggested Prayer Points 

1. Pray for persecuted Christians around the world.
2. Pray for God's people to seek Him by reading the Bible.
3. God's leaders and his people to be strengthened for spiritual battle through the Bible.
4. Pray that Satan is defeated in the lives of all Christians.
5. Pray about anything you feel led to pray about.

Hugs,
SalleeB

#StopDropandPray 

Don't Get Hung by Your Tongue

My pastor has been preaching from the book of James the last two Sundays. Yes, from the third chapter of James: Taming the Tongue. On the same day as the last sermon, I went to an online group for Christian women and the following was posted:

"Watch your words diligently. Words have such great power to bless or to wound. When you speak carelessly or negatively, you damage others as well as yourself. This ability to verbalize is an awesome privilege, granted only to those I created in My image. You need help in wielding this mighty power responsibly.

Though the world applauds quick-witted retorts, 
My instructions about communication are quite different: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Ask My Spirit to help you whenever you speak. I have trained you to pray—“Help me, Holy Spirit”—before answering the phone, and you have seen the benefits of this discipline. Simply apply the same discipline to communicating with people around you. If they are silent, pray before speaking to them. If they are talking, pray before responding. These are split-second prayers, but they put you in touch with My Presence. In this way, your speaking comes under the control of My Spirit. As positive speech patterns replace your negative ones, the increase in your Joy will amaze you.

• Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

• My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

• Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Time to Tame My Tongue?

Are you laughing with me? Brother Jimmie's sermon included this marvelous sentence," Be sure your heart is in gear before you let out the clutch on your tongue." 

Being a Christian biker chick, I understand that sentence perfectly. Do you think the Holy Spirit was pointing this out to me? (laughing) Yes, the tongue is such a small part of the body, but it has more power to hurt or encourage than any other part of our body. The Lord wants to help me tame my tongue. 

My friend Pam always said, "Lord, sit on my tongue and help me be quiet." Pam maybe home with the Lord, but her words still live on in my heart and help me every day.

My Husband's Phrase

The title of my article is actually something my husband said at one of our CMA chapter meetings. Because it rhymes, I never forgot it; or maybe I didn't forget it because it was so applicable to myself. I hate sticking the proverbial foot into my mouth, but it happens fairly regularly. After listening and reading about the tongue, I think I am going to keep the clutch on my tongue disengaged until I do a heart check!  Amen?

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21

God's Purpose For You - Conclusion

The video links are no longer working. The video playlist has been deleted from YouTube. 

Sallee's Notes

• Beth shares a brief testimony about her childhood abuse.
• Childhood abuse will trip you up.
• How could something like that happen to a child?
• Why does this happen? Why did he let it happen to you? Why?
• Beth believes in the sovereignty of God. As a father who loves me as he looked at what my purpose would be in my own generation.
• We have a purpose in our lives. 
• That is what matters. We have a purpose. 
• She has used what has happened everyday in her ministry to help her relate to people.
• It makes it easier to get down on my knees and serve someone.
• It is hard to come from my background and be full of yourself.
• God has had constant purpose in my life. 
• Listen we just have these few minutes on this planet. 
• It matters to God what our purpose is.
• After reflection, thought, and deliberation the purpose God knew would exceed the pain.
• If the purpose could not exceed the pain the answer is no.
• If it's just pain and no purpose -  that's what we get when we do not cooperate with Him. 
• If you are a child of God and you went through something difficult, God has a purpose for it.
• If you don't cooperate, you will live it out in vain.
• The Enemy thought if for evil. God thought it, deliberated  it, reflected upon it and knew He would use it for good for the saving of lives. 
• I'll take that. 

Luke 22:41-42 (

41 He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, 42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will (boule), but yours be done.

• Absolutely nothing is allowed to come to you and into your life through the permissive will of God. That does not have some bearing on God's purpose for you in your own generation

• What purpose is it supposed to serve? 
• We have to let him bring healing into our lives so we can live out his purpose for us. 
• People are hurting out there.
• We have problems too! We gather and pray before a conference.
• People need hope.
• Full throttle effectiveness.
• Every time I get to minister to one of you out of my background I'm serving my purpose.
• I was told early on that I would sink my ministry if I shared my story.
• I was chosen for my generation when these painful things are Praise God coming out of the closet.
• Some of us with a background of shame can stand up and brush our hair out of our eyes and serve our purpose. 

Psalm of the Week - Psalm 41:1-3 - Week of 7 July, 2014

1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.

2 The Lord protects and preserves them—they are counted among the blessed in the land—he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.

3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.

4 I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord; heal me, for I have sinned against you.”

Four Points to Consider

• The people of God are not free from poverty, sickness, or outward affliction, but the Lord will consider their case, and send due supplies. 
• From his Lord's example the believer learns to consider his poor and afflicted brethren. This branch of godliness is usually recompensed with temporal blessings. 
• Nothing is so distressing to the contrite (repentant, sorry) believer, as a fear or sense of the Divine displeasure, or of sin in his heart.
• Sin is the sickness of the soul; pardoning mercy heals it, renewing grace heals it, and for this spiritual healing we should be more earnest than for bodily health.      Matthew Henry's Commentary

Personal Application

Father God, thank you for blessing me and delivering me from times of trouble while I help others. Thank-you for protecting and preserving me as I walk through life trying to help others. Thank-you for sustaining me and restoring me when I have been ill, physically and spiritually. Amen.

The Captivity of Activity Week 4

Sallee's Notes

• Point 1 from Week 3 If the Enemy can't tempt us with destruction, he'll settle for distraction.
• Please don't miss that Martha was busy serving Christ. She was so busy serving Christ that she was missing sitting at Christ's feet and taking in what he had to say.
•  Make sure that you don't get so busy serving him that you totally miss him and wonder where you joy has gone.
• We can serve Christ and still miss Christ. 

Luke 10:40

 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 

• Point 2 We Can Get Too Busy to Sense Christ's Tender Care
• We can get too busy to sense God's tender care
• We aren't abiding in the love of Christ and aren't continually reminded of how much he loves us. 
• We are too busy and distracted. It takes some time.
• Beth's personal point about joy of being a grandmother or watching a daughter with her baby 

Luke 8:14

14The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 

• We think being busy in Christ makes us mature.
• Busy in Christ doesn't mean we are mature in Christ

• We gain maturity by sitting at His feet (so to speak) and let his word soak in and come alive.
• spending time with him is what we need.
• Beth's personal point about a situation and conflict that caused her to be too busy.
• A truth Beth received from the Lord, You have not let me take the time to heal you of your hurt feelings in this situation and it is coming out in anger.
• Paid for not taking the time with irritability and frustration
• Healing our souls takes time. It takes time!
• Life will bruise us up and beat us up just because we are living it.
• Stuffing down feelings is not maturity.
• Maturity is when we take our hurt feelings to God. We are intimate with Him.
• Be a tattle tail. He doesn't care. AND then we won't be taking it to other people.
• Just tell it to God and then we are done
• Tending takes time. Spend time with God and let him heal you.

The Captivity of Activity - Week 3

Sallee's Notes

Lesson we can learn at Martha's house.
Pull up a chair at Martha's house. The Lord is going to show us what Christ would say to us at Martha's house. Christ is also going to show us some lessons from our environment as we look around while we are at Martha's house.

1. If the Enemy cannot tempt us with destruction, he will settle for distraction.

• Self destructive personalities really help him with his job of distracting us.
• Hating yourself is a form of self-loathing and this is still self-absorption which is pride.
• We are still full of ourselves which is sin. Destruction.
• God and I have done a lot of work on me since that time. Not only a deep healing work on my heart, but also on my broken mind. 
• Years and years of treating me with his word has renewed my mind.
• I am not beyond destruction, but it does not work as often now.
• Distraction works beautifully though. 
• All this captivity of activity.
• Moms especially have bought into this.
• Martha is the kind that would not be without her Lysol or her Oust. How do I know this? I'll show you in the scripture.

38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39“Take away the stone,” he said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

John 11:38-40 NIV

• Jesus is about to raise Lazarus from the dead and Martha speaks up about the bad odor. 
• The King James Version is priceless on this one. "But Lord, he stinketh"
• Where is my Lysol?
• Can you imagine the look on Jesus' face?
• Glory stinketh not!
• Martha would not have wanted the kids to play in the house or teenage boys to be locked up until they smell better.
• Mary and Martha both in me. Are you a MarMary?
• I think all of us can relate to Martha and Mary.

The Captivity of Activity - Week 2

Sallee's Notes

• Martha is named Martha, but why is Mary called Mary?
• Mary comes from the Hebrew Miriam, which comes from the Hebrew root - Mara. Mara means bitter.
• Ruth 1:20

“Don’t call me Naomi, ” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.

• Could something could have happened in Mary's life to make her withdraw and become bitter?
• Could she have said," Call me Mara."
• What may have happened to her?
• Could that be why she is sitting at the feet of Jesus while Martha was rushing around?
• Desperation can be the sweetest gift that God offers you.
• Without a doubt, desperation brought me to the Lord.
• I was messed up.
• I was either going to truly live or truly die.
• I wonder - What would you be called if you were called by your state, or condition.
• In all three scenes where this woman appears she is at the feet of Jesus.
• Something drove her there.
• Was she just smarter than Martha? No just more desperate.
• Are you tired of being bitter?
• People characterize you by your bitterness.
• Hebrews 12:15

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

• We will never keep our bitterness to ourselves.
• It invades the space around us.
• It is the gift that keeps on giving, if you will
• Call me blessed, call me healed, that happens at the feet of Jesus
• Any teacher worth their salt is a student, too.
• When we sit so close that nobody can sit in between Jesus and me. We are going to get some healing.
•  Mary to invited women into the classroom of Christ teaching.
• Water of the Word.
• Crawl right up next to Jesus at his feet so our heart and mind can receive healing.
• Thank-you Lord.

Battling Alcohol, Drugs, and Addictions with Scripture Prayer

My first exposure to scripture prayer was when a friend loaned me a Beth Moore book, Get Out of That Pit. In the back of the book were a scripture prayers for everyday of the week. The concept is fairly simple, but I had never thought of it. Using scripture for prayer is now a habit for me. Below is a scripture prayer to help combat addictions. Just place the name of the person(s), or your own name, in the blanks when you pray. The italicized words are my own additions.



Father God, you know________________has made mistakes because of wine, liquor, or drugs and through strong drink or drugs are out of control. ___________has erred in  the same way the priest and the prophet have through strong drink or drugs. ____________is swallowed up in alcohol or drugs and  _______________is out of the way through addiction._________________is making errors in vision and is stumbling in judgement. (Isaiah 28:7)

The acts of the flesh are obvious in ____________________life: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery(drinking, drugs, partying, running wild); idolatry (material things, making money, workaholic, alcohol, drug use) witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. Father, _______________________, will not inherit your kingdom living like this. (Galatians 5:19-21)

Let _____________________be sober and vigilant because his/her adversary is the devil. The devil is a roaring lion, walking about, seeking to devour____________________. (1Peter 5:8)

Help ______________________to not love the world, neither the things that are in the world like alcohol, drugs, money, and the many other distractions from the enemy.  (1 John 2: 15-17)

Father, help ______________________to not be a lover of pleasures more than a lover of God. (2 Timothy 3:4)

Let ________________________know that their body is a temple of the holy Spirit which is in you, and that they are not their own, but belong to you. (1 Corinthian 6:19)

I beseech you Lord, that ______________________would present themselves to you as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to you.(Romans 12:1)
Strengthen __________________________so they can do all things through Christ. (Philippians 4:13)

Amen