The Dark Side of Encouragement - Psalm 64:5

Psalm 64 is titled: The Hurtful Tongue. 
David was well aware of his enemies that smiled to his face, but encouraged each other in secret meetings. Don't let people around you encourage you to join the dark side of encouragement such as gossip, slander, cursing others, and planning to hurt others. It is difficult to stand up to a group, but it isn't impossible. When you are in a group that begins to verbally assault someone, ask yourself what Jesus would do. Would He be quiet, or would he remind the group that they have their own faults too? John 8:7 Do not let yourself be pulled into the dark side of encouragement.  
Social Media Messages
Today, the hurtful tongue has become the typing fingers that post dark and negative comments on a social media profile. On social media, people can hide behind a user name and send anonymous, negative messages that can hurt others. These secret users type out posts that are as hurtful as being cut with a knife. Words can be wielded like a knife. Words can stab, slash, and cut into your self-esteem and heart, if you let them. Please, do not let these hurtful messages wound, or harm you.
Use Your Faith
I repeat, do not let words harm you. Pick up your shield of faith and extinguish the negative messages. Believe in and repeat God's messages. God's messages tell you who God says you are. Look into a mirror and say,"I am God's chosen. I am a co-heir to the kingdom of God. I am his beloved child. I am priceless to God."

This Is Who You Are In Christ
I added the bold italics to emphasize the point that you are a son or daughter of God through Jesus Christ. 
Romans 1:12
But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
Romans 8:16
The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
1 John 3:1

Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knows us not, because it knew him not.

Galatians 4:6-7

6 And because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, you are also an heir through God.

Psalm of the Week - 52:2, 4 - June 8, 2015

At the grocery store, I was unloading groceries onto the conveyor belt. There was a couple behind me, but I wasn't paying much attention; until I heard the woman say the following words,

"Stop IT! You KNOW I don't like that! You are such a GIRL!" 

I turned slightly and saw the man lowering his arm and open palm from behind the base of her neck. I didn't really see what caused her to say those razor-edged words, but the tone of her voice was sharp and hurtful. The man continued lowering his arm and hand to his side and his chin dropped toward his chest. I continued putting groceries onto the conveyor belt. After a brief pause, the woman said to the man,

"I bet I couldn't even give you away!" 

Wow, oh wow! I was shocked and stunned by those harmful words, used like a sharpened razor.

I silently began to pray for the man and woman. I continue to pray for them. What would make a person say such words to another human being? I do not know. I do not know the circumstances that led to the anger-filled words, but I do know that the words will cause the destruction of their relationship. 

Self-esteem is fragile and can be broken with razor-edged words. 
Seeking to feel powerful by hurting others is how God's enemy wants you to be. Do not let your words lead you away from God, instead of toward God. 

How Long Do You Grieve? Personal Loss and Biblical Grief

Jack Hull  in Jefferson City, MO 2004



My husband, Jack, died in 2005. I still miss him. The grief isn't sharp anymore, but it occasionally surfaces on his birthday, our wedding anniversary, and the anniversary of his death. The first three years were the roughest.

 "Helpful" Advice

Many people offered advice that was not helpful. Some of the "helpful" things other people told me were:

• You need to be strong
• If you grieve for more that a year, you need to seek help
• Crying won't fix anything
• Get on with your life and things will be better
• You need a hobby to focus on
• Your better off without him because he was so sick

Trying to Move On

I just wanted to mourn my loss and be left alone. Emotionally, I fluctuated back and forth between the different stages of grieving. Denial , anger, depression, and acceptance would come and go for the first year. Year Two I stayed in anger, and acceptance, with depression kicking in on anniversaries and holidays. Year two also brought a relapse back into pure grieving because I had been seeing a man that I really liked. However, he broke off the relationship because I was "too prickly". Wow, did that rejection cause a downward spiral. Sharp-edged, painful sorrow returned and it felt like Jack had died yesterday, instead of two years previously. Jack had loved me unconditionally. He loved me in spite of my imperfections. Prickliness hadn't stopped him from seeing the loving, warm, talented woman whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Depression returned. I felt rejected and unlovable.

Grief is...

Grief expert David Kessler at Grief.com says:
"...grief is a process, a journey. It does not end on a certain day or date. It is as individual as each of us. Grief is real because loss is real. Each grief has its own imprint, as distinctive and as unique as the person we lost. The pain of loss is so intense, so heartbreaking, because in loving we deeply connect with another human being, and grief is the reflection of the connection that has been lost. Grief is not just a series of events, or stages or time lines. Our Society places enormous pressure on us to get over loss, to get through the grief. But how long do you grieve for a husband of fifty years? A teenager killed in a car accident? A four-year-old child? A year? Five years? Forever? The loss happens in time, in fact in a moment, but its aftermath lasts a lifetime."

 Biblical Grief

Healing is a long process when your heart is broken. In Genesis 37:34-35, Jacob tore his clothes, put on sack cloth, and mourned for many days when he believed his youngest son Joseph was dead. Joseph was his baby and his favorite child. His other children tried to comfort him, but he wouldn't let them. He wanted to be with his dead son, Joseph.  I recognize that feeling.

Strong People Can Cry

Weeping helps release the pressure and emotional tension of grief. Do not let anyone tell you it's wrong to cry when your sad. Tears are a part of grief and sadness. You are still a strong person if you cry. Crying is NOT a sign of weakness.

Take Time to Mourn

 Matthew 5: 4 says "Those who mourn are blessed, for they will be comforted." God will be there to comfort you. Pray this verse to God in prayer.

Father,  I am asking you to comfort me. Your word says that I am blessed because I am mourning the loss of ______________. I am claiming that promise. Comfort me during this loss. In the mighty name of your son Jesus, who is my Lord and Savior I ask this. Amen.

Take time to grieve. In God's world  there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
                                a time to be born and a time to die,
                                a time to plant and a time to uproot,
                                a time to kill and a time to heal,
                                a time to tear down and a time to build,
                                a time to weep and a time to laugh,
                                a time to mourn and a time to dance...
                                Ecclesiastes 3:1-4







 

My Ebook, Fractured into Faithful, is Live at Amazon.com

Whoopee! Yahoo! Fractured into Faithful by Sallee Bonham (me), is now a Kindle ebook at Amazon.com. Hours of writing, revising, organizing, and editing are finally over and the end product is for sale world wide! Poetry and short stories taken from the peaks and valleys of my journey through life.
Click on the link and sample Chapter 1.

 

My Love Affair With Jesus

               

Stay in the Word, the Word will shield me from sin. Let the Word fill up the emptiness.

 I was struggling with an emotional wound when I wrote those words. I still remember a question that kept bouncing around inside my head, "When did I get out of God's will and into Sallee's will?" The honest answer to that question is painful to admit.

Afraid of Being Alone

A relationship with a man was the highest priority in my life because I was afraid of being alone. Four years of widowhood and not understanding my relationship with God led me to make choices that took me out of God's will. My relationship with Christ had taken second place to the relationship that I had chosen to have with a man. Sigh

I am sad for the woman that replaced Christ with an Earthly man. An earthly man not chosen by Christ, but chosen out of fear will not bring peace, joy, or contentment. I know because I settled for someone who wasn't rooted and grounded in God.

My healing began when I actively began to pursue Christ as my first choice. A quote by Maya Angelou sums up my love for Jesus Christ.

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”

― Maya Angelou

My Love Affair with Jesus

My love affair with Jesus began by getting to know him better. I quit filling in empty time with the Bible and began arising an hour earlier to begin my day with my husband, actively seeking his words and applying them to my life. The Word filled my emptiness and made me see how much my Heavenly husband loves me.  My love grew as I became fully rooted and grounded in His love. Fearfulness of being alone left because I wasn't alone. He is my bridegroom and I am his bride. What a joyful, fulfilling marriage! My life is full, rich, and busy. 

My Hidden Heart 

Then, I gave my heavenly husband a gift - the gift of submission. These words left my lips one morning," Lord, I would like to have a husband, but if that is not your will for me, then that is fine with me."

My heart was hidden in God that day. Jesus wrapped his arms around me, hugged me, and told me what a wonderful wife I was. The Holy Spirit within me expanded to enfold me in happiness, peace, joy, and love. 

Please start your love affair with Christ today and hide your heart in God.  Tell Him that he is in charge of your heart. Imprint his scriptures upon your heart.