Let Your Light Shine

Matthew 5:16 NKJV

Let your light so shine before men,

 that they may see your good works 

and glorify your Father in Heaven

Praise is Powerful in a Marriage

You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 

I am a lucky man to have you for my wife.

I love you terribly. 

I love watching you sleep.

Your hair is amazing.

These are a few of the compliments that my late husband consistently said to me for the 12 years of our marriage. 

At the beginning of our relationship, I found myself doubting his words because the praise was over-the-top! Over time, I realized that Bill was consistent with his compliments and praise. I decided to trust him and believe his compliments were sincere. 

I decided to begin praising him in the same manner that he did.  

Our marriage flourished!  The "honeymoon phase" of our marriage did not fade away. I discovered that praise and compliments build you both up!

Do not let negative thoughts about your spouse live in your head. 

The minute you catch yourself thinking negatively, replace it with a positive thought. 

Make a commitment to keep your marriage strong.

Give your partner "over the top" compliments every. single. day. Tell them what you love and admire about them. Your relationship will deepen and grow. 

Jesus is Love.

Love is a commitment.

Jesus came to be a servant. He served to the end. 

Jesus washed Judas' feet.

Jesus KNEW Judas was going to betray him and still yet he got down on his knees and washed his feet. 

Love people like Jesus. 

Jesus is committed to love.

Be committed to follow Jesus no matter what circumstances are.

No matter our circumstances God loves us. Jesus loves us! We are his!

Love is service.

We have to be a light in the community.

Stay committed. Jesus is committed. God is committed. Stay committed because Jesus loves you!

These are my notes taken from the Sunday Sermon given by Pastor Robert Trigo. This is a powerful message from the Lord! 

A Prayer Warrior Week

Whew! This week has been an on-the-knees, pray the word aloud week! 
Bill and I went to the 4 way stop in the center of town Thursday evening to pray for our community. This is the third month and three of us showed up. Bill and I wore our eye-catching Christian Motorcyclists Association colors so that passing folk would know we were there for Jesus. Bill, Sundi Jo and I received a lot of looks from people as we prepared to pray on the east corner of the 4 way for our community and the surrounding communities. It is my hope that someone will ask one of us," I saw you at the 4 way stop. What were you doing?" When this happens we can have a conversation about prayer and Jesus. Yep, this is evangelism outreach and/or discipleship my friends.
This is also spiritual warfare. 
What do you believe about spiritual warfare? I believe we live in Satan's world and that we are in a battle to bring people to Jesus Christ. This is the great commission: to go and tell people about Jesus Christ in the world around us. When we follow this way of life, we will run into the enemy, the ruler of this world whom even Jesus had to face and defeat. Our enemy's mission is to keep people from coming to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. He wants to keep you in the dark, literally and figuratively. To this end, he places obstacles in the paths of believers to try and separate us from our Jesus by keeping us busy, swamped with drama, and overrun with temptations. Satan also places obstacles in the paths of unbelievers who are beginning to see the light of Jesus and begin walking toward him. 
Grabbing my Shield and Sword
 I have been grabbing my shield of faith and Sword of the Spirit all week to extinguish the flaming arrows of the enemy who is trying to discourage a sister in ministry, trying to keep a lamb of God from completely breaking free of Satan's chains, and to stop the umbrella of prayer from being lifted within the center of our community. 
Yes, I have been engaged in spiritual warfare all week AND I believe my prayers are answered. Did you catch that? My prayers ARE answered - maybe not today, tomorrow, or a month from now, but they will be answered in God's timeframe. This is faith in action. This is submitting to God. This is knowing who I am; I am a child of God and he is always good. 
Yes, I know that I sound like a crazy person to many of you.
I don't care. I know who I am through Jesus Christ and I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God. Yes, I am a spirit-led, redeemed follower of Jesus Christ and I know who I am through Jesus Christ. 

• I am a coheir of the kingdom
• I have the mind of Christ
• I have a wise counselor
• I can send Satan fleeing
• I am a prayer warrior in the kingdom of God
• I am a fervently dedicated servant of Jesus Christ

Do you know who you are in the kingdom of God? 
The New Testament tells us who we are through Jesus Christ. The Old Testament tells us the history of God's people and why he sent Jesus as the Messiah. If you don't know Jesus or who you are as a Christian, read the New Testament to discover the truth of letting Jesus into your life. 

• 1 Corinthians 1:18

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God.

• Hebrews 12:2

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

• John 14:16-17

16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

• Ephesians 6:11-12

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

• Ephesians 6:16-18

16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 

• 1 John 4:4

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

• Galatians 4:7

So you are no longer a slave, but God's child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

• James 4:7

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Wrap Your Marriage in the Word of God

Before Bill and I were married we had several talks about what we wanted in our bible-based marriage. We discussed our marriage roles as set out in Ephesians 5:21-33.

• 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

First, this verse doesn't say husbands and wives. It says one another, or fellow believers, out of reverence for Christ. I am going to be honest here. I had trouble with this idea. I am a strong personality and it took me awhile to realize I needed to rein myself in and yield the center of attention to others. It takes effort to consider other people, but that is what Jesus did. Out of my love for Jesus, I need to yield to my brothers, sisters, and my spouse.

• 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 

I surrendered to the Lord completely. I love Jesus with all my heart. My life is his and my desire is to do his will. This was my relationship with Jesus before my marriage, too. However, I didn't want to surrender any control to my husband. I am a strong and independent woman who didn't want my husband to be telling me what to do.  However, this verse doesn't say my husband is going to boss me around, or be in control of me. Go back to verse 21 and reread what it says; submitting is yielding to each other because you both revere Jesus. Jesus is the authority of your faith and before your marriage you are both yielding to one another out of reverence for Jesus because you are fellow believers. At least you should be doing this. Bill looks at our marriage as a team and he wanted and wants an equal partner.

• 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

These two verses were a stumbling block for me. I can submit to Christ because he is my Savior, but I did not want to apply this to my relationship with my husband, especially the part that says,"in everything." I am going to repeat that I am a strong and independent woman who doesn't want to surrender control of my decision making to my husband. My initial reaction was, "No way is he telling me what to do!" Bill and I talked about this and the analogy he used (that made and still makes sense to me) was that of partners in Team Bonham and one partner has 51% of the shares and the other partner has 49% of the shares. Both partners will talk about the major decisions and then the partner with 51% will make the decision. Yes, I had reservations about this, but I grudgingly gave my consent to this marriage model. That was 7 years ago and I can happily tell you that Bill rarely makes a final decision unless we are in total agreement. Why? because he wants me to be happy. He places my wants and needs above his own. Which brings us to verse 25.

• 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 
• 26 to make her holy, cleansing  her by the washing with water through the word, 
• 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Think about what these verses says and Jesus' actions. Husbands are told to love their wives in the same way Jesus loved the church. Jesus put the wants and needs of all mankind before his own. He reconciled man and God with his death upon the cross out of love. Unconditional love and grace was given to us by Jesus' sacrifice. Jesus made the church holy and blameless when each person submits to Jesus and takes their place within the body of the church. The following verses return to how husbands should love their wives. 

• 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 
• 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 
• 30 for we are members of his body.

These verses are clear as to the manner husbands should love their wives. However, I believe wives should also treat husbands in the same manner because of the opening verse, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." A marriage has to be balanced in the giving. If both spouses love, care, and feed each other just as Christ does the church, then both are giving of themselves to the other equally.

 Intimacy is being close to and concerned for each other other. Christ knows his church intimately and he cares for the church spiritually. Husbands are the spiritual leaders of the home. A godly husband reflects the light of Jesus through the indwelling Holy Spirit. These verses express an ideal standard that both spouses should try to achieve.  

• 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

You are both on the same team. A victory for one is a victory for the other. Face each life challenge together. Support each other with unconditional love. Honestly, you cannot change each other. Get that idea out of your head. If you are single, do not go into a marriage believing you can change your spouse. You cannot change another person. All you can do is to love them as they are, just as Jesus loves you exactly where you are. More marriages end because a spouse keeps trying to change the other partner and both end up profoundly unhappy. Only God and Jesus can change someone. Pray for your partner when you are upset. Lift them up to God through Jesus and let the Lord take care of the situation. 

Note: I am not talking about abusive behavior. Do not stay in an abusive relationship. These verses say to care for your spouse as you would feed and care for your body. Abuse isn't doing this. 

• 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.  
• 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Wives, please do not speak to your husband disrespectfully at anytime. The husband is the head of the family. He is the spiritual leader of the family. Show your spouse the same respect that you would show Jesus. Again I am referring back to the opening verse,"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." 

Spouses must love each other as themselves and be respectful of each other. Being disrespectful to each other is destructive. It will end your chance for a happy marriage. Your spouse may "suck it up", but not forever. Sooner or later, they are going to quit trying to make you happy.  Sarcasm is another destructive way of speaking to each other. It isn't respectful or showing the reverence of Christ. 

You are going to have to communicate with your spouse. Just make sure your talks are phrased as "I messages" and not as blame. It takes practice to communicate with your spouse. It isn't going to happen overnight. However, if you are submitting to one another with the reverence of Christ, then you will be a team and learn how to be equal partners. Remember, this is why sports teams have practice - so they are working together and learning to act as one.  

Another set of scripture that Bill and I adopted as our "marriage scriptures" is this one:

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their labor:

10If either of them falls down,

one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

and has no one to help them up.

11Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken   Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

In verse 12, the cord of three strands is the Lord, your spouse, and you. You are one cord made of three strands that is not quickly broken. Just make sure that the Lord is the first strand, your spouse is the second strand, and you are the third strand. 

I want you to know that what I have written is not professional help. I'm not a counselor. What I am is a spirit-filled, child of God who is relating how my godly husband and I have based our marriage upon the bible. Our marriage is seven years old and our "honeymoon" period has not ended. We put the Lord first, each other second, and then ourselves every day.  We have followed the biblical marriage model from the first day of our marriage and it is working for us. My hope is that you will try this biblical marriage model and strengthen your marriage too. 

My Word for 2018 is Jesus, or a Christian New Year's Resolution

Hello all,
You may have noticed that I haven't posted a lot from Dec.4 to Dec. 31. I spent the holiday season focusing on family, friends, and holiday events. However, today is the beginning of a new year and it is time to begin writing again.
I read a post on "Out of the Ashes", a FB public group, that was asking the members to post one word for 2018 as they received their word through prayer. 

My word was immediately given to me - Jesus.  Jesus the Messiah, Jesus the Redeemer, Jesus the Teacher, Jesus the Servant, Jesus the Fisher of Men, Jesus the Sacrificial Lamb, Jesus the Healer, Jesus the Son of God, Jesus the Lord of my Life.
Jesus is in the beginning, middle, and end of my day.
That doesn't mean I don't fall short of his example though. I do. Daily. It is so hard to walk down the narrow path of faith and think of myself as a stranger in this life. I find myself concerned with things that have no bearing on my life as a follower of Jesus.

My actions and behaviors do not always reflect the loving light of Jesus Christ. So what do I do?

1. Ask for Jesus to help me and strengthen my ability to reflect his love and lifestyle as a servant of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit every day. 
2. Stop beating myself up mentally when I fall short and do my best to not repeat the error. Let the error teach me and not condemn me. Condemnation is Satan trying to widen the gap between myself and Jesus. I am not letting him succeed. 
3. Focus on what I am doing right. This simple activity will increase my spiritual connection with the Lord and keep Satan from trapping me into thoughts of condemnation. 
4. Evaluate my activities regularly and not let myself get caught up in busyness that stops me from reading my bible, meditating on the bible, and being a servant. This isn't an excuse to skip out on what the Lord calls me to do, but a way to keep me from getting caught up in activities that don't serve Jesus in anyway. 
5. I need to be a servant of the Lord that is actively asking people if they know Jesus and not a busy part of an organization that isn't fulfilling the needs of orphans, widows, homeless, and hurting people. Unconditional love for the unlovable is part of being a new person filled with the Holy Spirit.
6. Read my bible regularly. All of the bible, not just part of the bible. The bible is the "Sword of the Spirit" and can teach me how to think, act, and keep my mind focused on the new woman that I am. I will grow spiritually this way and begin to find myself speaking the word in my daily life, not quoting, but speaking the word as naturally as breathing. 

Jesus is my word and my way of life for 2018. 

I will continue to be a coheir of the kingdom of God and do my best to reflect the unconditional love and light as a follower of Jesus Christ. 

The Holy Spirit is my counselor, the bible is my instructional manual, and my Jesus will strengthen me to be his servant. 

Happy New Year and may the Lord bless you and keep you through the coming year,
Sallee Bonham

A Joy Filled Woman

Washed by Jesus - John 13:8

Jesus taught by example.
Can you see the servant king kneeling  before each of his disciples so he could wash their feet? I wonder how each of them felt as they watched Jesus wash their brother's feet?  He laid aside self-seeking and practiced self-sacrifice. He laid aside pride and practiced love.
Let Jesus kneel down before you and wash your feet. 
He wants to be closer to you. You don't have to pay the bills, cook meals, work 12 hours a day, or work on your car alone.
Come on, let Jesus wash away your dirt and stains. He is waiting to wash your sin dirt away. Even the stubborn stains will yield to his cleansing wash. Do not be stubborn and say, "I can do it myself!" You can do it yourself, however you won't know Jesus.
Come on, what are you waiting for?
You can be washed in the water of Jesus' love and forgiveness. Jesus knows how hard it is to lay down your burden. After all, "I can do it myself!" are some of the first words a toddler learns to say. My mom tells me that my first words were,"Do it myself!"
Jesus is a servant king.
He is a king waiting for his brothers and sisters to come to him, weary from their travels through this life, dirty and stained. He is waiting for you, holding a bowl of water and a washcloth in his hands, waiting and ready to wash away the grit and grime of your journey.
Jesus knows what I am and loves me anyway. 
I was an unbeliever, who wanted to do everything myself. I started out with a foundation laid upon Jesus, thanks to my mom. However, I left that behind at the ripe old age of 17. Yes, I had plans for my life. Military service, drinking, drugs, physical relationships, broken marriages, and children were all a part of my plan.
I sought things that made me feel good, but that feeling of being content just didn't stay with me for long until I finally decided that I needed Jesus to help me. Yes, I let Jesus wash the stains and grime from my heart and soul when I surrendered my life to Jesus.

Jesus knows the idols and influences on my life: money, advertisements for alcohol filled with attractive people having a good time, my computer that is a gateway into all sorts of enticements, a tendency to gossip, be sarcastic, and a nasty temper.

But then I accepted Jesus' offer to be washed clean from the dirt and stains that were clinging to me.
I accepted where I was at in life and where I was at in my relationship with Jesus. Yes, Jesus was right there, waiting for me to accept his help. So I say, "What are you waiting for? Get up, get baptized, and wash your sins away, calling on his name."

Do you already know Jesus? Then come on, let him sit at your feet and wash the grit and grime from this world off of you.

Acts 22:16
And now what are you waiting for? Get up, get baptized, and wash your sins away, calling on His name.'
1 Corinthians 12:2
"You know that when you were pagans, you were influenced and led astray by mute idols."
Ephesians 2:2
in which you used to walk when you conformed to the ways of this world and of the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit who is now at work in the sons of disobedience."

Paul's 2nd Corinthian Letter - Week 4

Chapter 11

Paul and the False Apostles

I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. 11:2

• Paul is in the role of an earthly father who has engaged the saints to be married to Christ. 
• The church cannot follow anyone except Christ in order to remain a pure virgin. 

Paul was concerned that the church's minds could be led astray from their sincere and pure devotion to Christ, as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning. 11:3

Paul wasn't a "Super-apostle" 11:5

• Paul wasn't a trained speaker, but he had knowledge.
• Paul reassured the Corinthian church he wasn't wanting their money.
• Paul's sole desire was that they know Jesus.

Because Satan can hide himself as an angel of light, so can his servants. 11:13-11:15

• Paul points out that Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.
• It shouldn't be surprising that Satan's servants masquerade as servants of righteousness, but their end will be what they deserve.
• The followers of Jesus shouldn't be surprised to find Satan's servants hiding themselves among the righteous. What better way to cause strife and disharmony than to masquerade as a faithful believer? 
• Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Matthew 7:15
• For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Acts 20:29

"Hypocrisy may be looked for especially when we consider the great power which Satan...has upon the minds of many.Satan will allow his ministers to preach either the law or the gospel separately" Matthew Henry's Concise Bible Commentary

 The law as established by faith in Christ's righteousness and atonement, and the partaking of his Spirit is the test of every false system.  Matthew Henry

Paul shares about his sufferings and service as a minister of Jesus Christ. 11:16-11:30

• Paul endured the following situations to the honor of God:

1. received 40 stripes 5 times save 1
2. beaten with rods 3 times
3. stoned once
4. shipwrecked 3 times
5. adrift at sea a night and a day

• Paul faced many perils during his journeys.

1. waters
2. robbers
3. his own countrymen
4. from the heathens
5. in the city
6. in the wilderness
7. in the sea
8. among false brothers

Even though Paul was in peril and endured great hardship, he still considered the care of all the churches.

"It astonishes us to reflect on this account of his dangers, hardships, and sufferings, and to observe his patience, perseverance, diligence, cheerfulness, and usefulness, in the midst of all these trials."  Matthew Henry's Concise Bible Commentary

Chapter 12

 Paul's Revelation 12:1-12:5

• The church is built on the foundation of Paul's revelation
• Paul is about to tell, or show the greatest of his infirmities and he didn't want to tell more of his revelation because it might encourage them to focus more on him than on his teachings. 12:6

Paul's Thorn and God's Grace 12:7-12:10

• No one knows what Paul's "thorn in the flesh" was.
• Paul's attitude about it shows he accepted it as a way for him to remain humble.
• He asked, in prayer, to be relieved of his "thorn in the flesh," but accepted that this was not God's plan.
• God told Paul that his grace was sufficient.
• God's strength is made perfect in weakness.

When we continue to praise God and accept his plan, as Jesus accepted his Father's plan, we are made strong in our weakness because we rely on God through Jesus Christ.

"Prayer is a salve for every sore, a remedy for every malady; and when we are afflicted with thorns in the flesh, we should give ourselves to prayer." Matthew Henry

Concern for the Corinthian Church 12:11 - 12:21

• These verses show the character of a faithful minister of the gospel.
• These verses also show the excesses the false teachers had taken their deluded followers to.
•  Christians should be sad that evils should be found among teachers of the gospel. 
• Evils have been found in teachers of the gospel too often, but it has been so since the days of the apostles.  

Chapter 13

Examine Yourselves 13:1 - 13:10

• Paul addressed the church at Corinth 3 times and by the third time he was losing his patience with the sinners. 
• Those who continued to question Paul's authority were those who had the least reason to question him. They had seen the signs and wonders of his apostleship.
• In verse 13:3, the church members wanted and demanded proof that the voice and power of Christ was in Paul. Paul directs them to self examination, to try, prove, and recognize their own souls. If things were right, they'd find proof of Christ's speaking in him. 

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Cant you see for yourselves the Jesus Christ is in you-unless you actually fail the test? 13:5

• Paul desired that the body of the church be kept from sin and they would grow in grace and holiness.
• They should know if Christ was in them, but the indwelling of His spirit.
• We are either true Christians, or we are deceivers.
• Unless Christ is in us by his Spirit and power of his love, our faith is dead.

Final Greetings and Blessings  13:11 - 13:14

Do these things and the God of love and Peace shall be with you:

• Be perfect
• Be of good comfort
• Be of one mind
• Live in peace

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Ghost be with you all. Amen.

My hope is that you have prospered spiritually during this 4 week bible study. Thank-you for joining me. SalleeB

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 26

30 Days of Thanksgiving - Day 17

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 6

The Hearts of Men

The Lord knows the hearts of men.

He is the potter and we are his clay. He knows about those who worship with their mouth and speak of his love, but have a heart that is far removed from him. He knows what they are hiding in secret. Never doubt that he doesn't understand that the world around us is turned upside down. Our job is not to doubt, but to believe in the Word of God with all of our heart and to be joyful no matter what happens around us. 

The Lord Sees the Hypocrites and Sinners

Isaiah 29:13

Why the Lord said, For as much as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honor me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:

Isaiah 29:15

Woe to them that seek deep to hide their counsel from the LORD, and their works are in the dark, and they say, Who sees us? and who knows us?

Isaiah 29:16

Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?

Rejoice- The Deaf and the Blind WILL See

Isaiah 29:17-19

Is it not yet a very little while, and Lebanon shall be turned into a fruitful field, and the fruitful field shall be esteemed as a forest?

And in that day shall the deaf hear the words of the book, and the eyes of the blind shall see out of obscurity, and out of darkness.

The meek also shall increase their joy in the LORD, and the poor among men shall rejoice in the Holy One of Israel

.

Isaiah 29:24

They also that erred in spirit shall come to understanding, and they that murmured shall learn doctrine.

We are One - Ephesians 4:4-4:6

Satan's goal is to divide and conquer the followers of Jesus Christ.

Don't let man-made labels inspire you to separate yourself from the one body of Christ. We are all part of that body. God is above all, and through all, and in you all.

Don't listen to the whispers of the Enemy. His specialty is causing division and dissension within the church body. Quit listening to his lies.

We all have the one Spirit and are called in the one hope. We have one Lord and one faith. Stay united in your purpose. Do not let Satan divide you from your church and then conquer you because you don't have any support. 

Jesus Felt Grief Too - Matthew 26:38

Jesus' Soul was Deeply Grieved
As Jesus sat in the Garden of Gethsemane, he knew his terrible death was near and he would be leaving the disciples. How did he feel? He felt grief and sadness, just like I felt when my husband died. Knowing that Jesus also felt this soul-deep grief, helped me to feel closer to him. 

Facing the death of a loved one is tough even when you know Jesus. 
I remained with Jesus in the midst of my grief. I read bible verses about the bridegroom, and I read about Jesus' ministry. I may have lost my earthly loved one, but I had a heavenly bridegroom who wanted me to be comforted and gave me a strength I don't have on my own. Jesus was faithful and kept watch with me. 

When I wanted to isolate myself, I didn't. When I needed a hug, I asked close friends and coworkers for one.  At work, I could focus on the job and forget about the grief for a little while. It brought me out of myself and kept some normalcy in my life.  

Then, I started walking three times a week and somewhere during my walking, the deep grief lifted a bit. It wasn't overnight. No, it was a long process. However, by seeking Jesus and walking, I unraveled the blanket of grief that I was wrapped in.

 Grief Has Passed

A blanket of grief wrapped itself softly around me,

gently insulating me from life.

I looked down one day and saw a thread lying upon the blanket.

Slowly I reached out and grasped the thread clumsily.

I wearily pulled on the thinly spun cord,

numbly going through the familiar motion,

not realizing I was unraveling my grief-woven wrap.

A year has passed since I saw you last.

The grief of your passing slowly merged with life’s passion.

My tears dissolved so many fears.

From Chapter 7 - Walking Through Widowhood of Fractured into Faithful: Poetry from the Heart by Sallee Bonham   Available at Amazon.com

Praise the Lord - Psalm 100:4

Great encouragement is given us, in worshipping God, to do it cheerfully.

If, when we strayed like wandering sheep, he has brought us again to his fold, we have indeed abundant cause to bless his name. The matter of praise, and the motives to it, are very important. 

Know what God is to you. 
Know it; consider and apply it, then you will be more close and constant, more inward and serious, in his worship. 
                                                                                                                                                      adapted from Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary

Worship In The Spirit and Truth - John 4:23-24

23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Spiritual worship is that where the heart is offered to God, and where we do not depend on external forms for acceptance.                            Barnes Notes on the Bible

Worshiping in the Spirit and in Truth Is:

• in our spirit, or inwardly in our minds and hearts
• adoring his majesty
• revering his power
• humbled before his purity
• confiding in his mercy
• praising him for his benefits
• loving him for his extraordinary and transcendent love to us
• being subject to his authority
• obedient to his will
• devoted to his glory
• and striving after a closer union with him
• and a more full conformity to him. 

And all this is through the enlightening, energizing, and comforting influences of his Spirit, the Holy Spirit.                                                                                    adapted from the Benson Commentary

Learning I am NOT the Boss in Sobriety - Romans 9:20 - June 19, 2017

After I stopped drinking, I  found out that I thought I was the boss of life around me. 

Here are some examples to illustrate this way of thinking:

• Everywhere I went, I would change the toilet paper roll to come off of the top.
• I had an opinion about everything I saw around me AND voiced my opinion about it.
• Church people were hypocrites and I wanted nothing to do with them.
• Other women were my enemies. I didn't like them. 
• My boyfriend, or partner needed to discuss everything with me, or I was MAD that I was left out of the decision making.
• I believed in Jesus, but I only wanted to pray when I was in trouble. Then I wanted to bargain with God rather than submit to God. 

My way of thinking brought me crashing down to my knees and submitting to God, but it took a life threatening situation to do it. 

During the first 6 months of my sobriety, I had to face some harsh truths about myself. 

Many of the faults that I had blamed on alcohol - wasn't the alcohol - it was me. My perception of who I was as a person was fractured and broken like a dropped mirror. Tears streamed down my face easily when I was alone. My best friend had died and I was my best friend. 

My understanding of my role in life slowly, but surely underwent several revisions. 

The first revision was that I dusted off my Bible and admitted my life was unmanageable and I was powerless over alcohol. Additionally, my mom made sure I was turning to Jesus and I rededicated my life to him. 

Let's Go to Church

Although I was reading my bible and turning to Jesus, I didn't return to church until I had about 18 months of sobriety. This revision happened after I was told,"What better place for hypocrites to be than in church? Maybe they will finally see the light."

Sisterhood is Good

At 3 years of sobriety, I found myself wanting to rejoin the sisterhood of women because of all the help I was receiving FROM a couple of ladies with long term sobriety. Those ladies had something I wanted; they both knew how to stay sober, how to stay promiscuity-free, and how to apply biblical principles to 12 step recovery.  Yes, my sisters were no longer my enemies.

My Way isn't the Only Way

Somewhere around the 3rd-4th year of recovery, in a conversation with my husband, I found myself saying," ...After all, my way isn't the only way." 

My husband stared at me like I had suddenly developed an extra head atop my shoulders before saying,"I had hoped this day would arrive, but I had about given up on it!"

Pow! understanding smacked me in the face as I thought about what I had just said. Silently, I congratulated myself on getting better. 

Why Did You Do This?

When I reached 14 years of sobriety, I was still struggling with God over why I was me. One night I looked at the ceiling and cried,"Why did you make me this way? I am MAD at you!" At that time, silence was the only response I received to my angry question. 

God's Answer

Two weeks later, God answered me during my morning prayer and meditation time. One word kept popping into the stillness of my brain, "Clay." 

"What? Clay? Really Lord?" Never in a million years would I tell myself to read about clay in my bible. 

However, I obediently turned to the index of my study bible and looked up the word, clay. Carefully, I began to read the first verse and write down my thoughts about it. Five bible verses later, I was reading and writing down my thoughts about Romans 9:21. As I read the scripture, I found my eyes drawn to the previous verse, 9:20. 

As I read verse 9:20, the words seemed to float up off the page and POW! from my innermost being  outward, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, I KNEW I was being spiritually spanked for my angry diatribe at God  two weeks earlier. 

But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?

How arrogant I had been. Yelling at God? Really? 

With a sigh, I started writing about why I was resentful (angry)at God, the cause of the anger, and how it affected me. The cause of the anger was control. Once again, my way of thinking brought me crashing down to my knees and re-submitting my life to God. By re-submitting all control of my entire life to God, I was making a decision to turn my will and my life over to God, again. Consequently while I was on my knees, an apology to the Creator of All issued from my lips. 

In conclusion

At 14 years sober, I realized that God was giving me the knowledge of his will for me because I was seeking Him through daily prayer and meditation. He was molding me, one day at a time, and I had to be willing to submit to his molding in order to grow spiritually and continue growing closer to God, through Jesus. 

25 Years Alcohol and Drug Free - My Sobriety Birthday

Today I have been clean and sober for a quarter of a century, or twenty-five years. My first day of a changed life occurred on June 15, 1992. 

On that day, I had come to believe and accepted three things about my life:

• Step 1 The Personal Version

I admitted I was powerless over alcohol and drugs-that my life had become unmanageable

• Step 2 The Personal Version

I came to believe that a Power greater than myself (God) could restore me to sanity.

• Step 3 The Personal Version

I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. 

In short, I had hit my rock bottom and knew that I needed help to learn how to live differently.

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

2 Corinthians 4:18
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Isaiah 6:3
And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.

I can't, He can, and I think I'll let Him one day at a time! 

Witnessing for Jesus In a Dream

I tend to have full color, vivid dreams when I dream.
Last night, for the first time, I dreamed of witnessing to a woman about Jesus.It was a particularly vivid and clear dream. 

The Dream
I was seated at a restaurant table. On the floor, lying face down, was a scantily clad woman. She had on black, fishnet stockings, a black bikini-style top, and a g-string. Everyone was walking around her, or stepping over her. I got down on my knees beside her and carefully rolled her over. 

She mumbled," Who are you?" 

"Someone who cares." I replied. 

Then, I was driving a car and taking her to a hospital. I stopped the car in front of a hospital with a flight of stairs going to the main entrance. I noticed a crowd of people standing on the stairs. The woman moved stiffly as she got out of the car. Slowly she turned around to face me. 

As I looked into her eyes, I felt compelled to ask,"Do you know how much Jesus loves you?" 

" No." Even in the dream, I was conscious of being saddened by this answer from her.  

"Oh honey, he loves you so much that he died for you." I started telling her about Jesus and the crowd behind her became still and quiet. Finally, I watched her walk slowly up the steps. End of dream.

Personally, I don't believe my dream meant anything. 
However, I do feel as if I have studied and absorbed the Word of God until it is appearing in my dreams. I love Jesus with all my heart and want to be his servant whether I am awake or asleep. Amen? 

Psalm 1:1-2
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked, or stand in the way that sinners take, or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.

Psalm 119:33-36
Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees, that I may follow it to the end.
Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.

Psalm 119:43-45
Never take your word of truth from my mouth, for I have put my hope in your laws.
I will always obey your law, for ever and ever.
I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.